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"Mama said there'd be days like this."

The sports world is confusing right now. What is the deal with the Tennessee Titans? How are they so good? Thankfully for all of us, Rick Reilly attempted to tackle the topic of their QB, Kerry Collins, and why you should love what he represents as a pro athlete. Where exactly is CC Sabathia going? We have no idea, but it's a good time to dredge up this old Buster Olney article—even though the prediction was wickedly off-base, the Sabathia stuff resonates. Can Tom Crean accomplish anything in basketball-mad Indiana this year? To hear him tell it, yes. And speaking of "esoteric," jeez, we talked to Malcolm Gladwell about sports this week too, then had one of our people equate it all back to Tim Lincecum. Life can be confusing, but here's what's not: click "Read More" and you'll get tons more content from this week at ESPN The Magazine.
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For our money, Wildcats is a Top 5 "sports movie" of all-time.

Pop culture recs: (1) Ironically, they put this article on the cover; (2) Sir Mix-A-Lot? Really? ; (3) maybe it's because we work for Disney, but this Bolt movie seems like it might be good; (4) a claymation movie is going to open the Sundance Film Festival; (5) sorry, Jake.
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"Wall-E? Yeah, that dude is hilarious."

Shaq is Twittering. And it's really him. I wonder what kind of mobile text pad the big guy is using, or, strike that, able to use. I bet these people could hook him up with a Shaq-sized device.

Here are a couple of quick hits leading up to the big Laker game last night:
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Alex Tehrani

Jennings has proved to be a quick study on and off the court.

Brandon Jennings is the first prep baller to skip college and take his game to Europe. After a rough start, as Chris Broussard learns in the latest issue of The Mag, Jennings is learning more in Italy than he might have in a classroom.

EXCHANGE STUDENT
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Cepero has been a revelation for the Red Bulls, but is forced to scrape by off the field.

Whether the heavily-favored Columbus Crew or the Cinderella New York Red Bulls win MLS Cup XIII on Sunday in Carson, California, the champions won't be playing credit card roulette at the victory dinner.

That's because Major League Soccer quietly has the biggest salary disparities in professional team sports. While stars like David Beckham and Cuauhtemoc Blanco make millions, many developmental players—like Red Bulls starting goalkeeper Danny Cepero—pull in a paltry $12,900 annually.
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We're still waiting for someone to pop out of this thing.

In connection with the holiday gift guide in the latest issue of ESPN The Magazine, we're going to be giving away nine pieces of really nice swag in nine days—starting today. We've put our intern to work coming up with the most mind-bending sports trivia on the face of the earth and the first person to email us the correct response each day wins the gift. Today's prize: a Fusion Chrome Collection razor by Art of Shaving and Gillette (retail: $150).
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Parnell outkicked his coverage.

Important societal question: when Chris Parnell ("Dr. Spaceman!") and Andy Samberg (we love him) released the SNL digital short Lazy Sunday, did they know they were leading to the downfall of modern society? You ever check out how many Lazy Sunday parody videos are on the Internet? Half of them are people "rapping" about walking their dog or going to the deli. It's absolutely awful. Here's another thing that's awful: the 2008 Apple Cup. Seamless integration time: some dudes made a Lazy Sunday parody about the Apple Cup. Here it is! And you thought the financial crisis was depressing, eh?
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"That sound you hear is..."

What is "Clip Reel?"

Today is apparently World Television Day. Cool, as we enjoy that medium of communication. With all apologies to Mr. Musburger, Mr. Johnson, Mr. McKay and even Mr. Enberg (underrated), for our money the best TV sportscaster of the last fifty years has to be Mr. Keith Jackson. We won't go super deep on this Clip Reel, but we think you deserve some goodies from the best around. Here goes: "The Miracle at Michigan" (one of his best calls ever), the epic VY run to the corner, his intro to the 100th Michigan vs. OSU game (it will give you chills), and while not a call, you should still read this. Jackson is a Washington State alum and frankly, we hope tomorrow's (Cr)Apple Cup isn't hurting him too much emotionally.
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Will this man make us re-think gender roles? Sure, why not?

The Kobe 9 Cruise (it's a team, not a shoe) daringly drafted a sidearm knuckleballer who's 16-years-old, five feet tall and…female. The first ever to play on a Japanese men's professional baseball team. Inspired by video footage of BoSox pitcher Tim Wakefield, Eri Yoshida mastered the art of the knuckleball. This one-pitch wonder, this Wakefield wannabe, this—woman, may very well send the cleated, chauvinistic Japanese culture careening toward mass frustration.
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"Curtain sounds kinda feminine. Can it be, uh, Steel Gate?"

WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEST NICKNAMES FOR DEFENSIVE FRONTS IN NFL HISTORY, WE'LL GO WITH "THE STEEL CURTAIN"

[Ed's note: Not sure what All-World Power Rankings is? Please click here.]

Mark Gastineau turns 52 today. (Wow, he's over 50?) While he's famous to the current generation mostly for his daughter, a slightly older generation remembers him as part of "The New York Sack Exchange" with Joe Klecko, Marty Lyons and Abdul Salaam. Two things: (1) Klecko was a lot better than people think he was and (2) while corny, that's a pretty good nickname for a defensive front. There are a bunch of other examples, so it seemed a good idea to rank 'em.

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"Most of these letters are about Pats vs. Bills in 1998, honestly." "Yea, that game killed me."

[Ed's note: Magazine senior deputy editor Chad Millman wrote a book called The Odds, about gambling culture. He also oversees The Mag's coverage of sports gambling, among other subjects. In a new feature for The Mag.com, he will take a look at the lives behind those making sport's biggest bets.]

I've only been at this column for a week (we can't even settle on what to call it, yet) but it's exhausting. So let's do a mailbag!

Actually, in the wake of the Steelers-Chargers fiasco, I was moved by the heartbreaking emails you sent in about your tough loss sob stories. So much so I felt compelled to put together a mini Bad Beats Hall of Fame to make everyone feel better (meaning: get some perspective, you degenerates, and try to remember the good sweats). Sure it might seem like I'm lazy and can't think of anything better to write up. But the truth is I think sorrow like this has to be shared, the burden is truly too much for one man. So here goes.
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The future of Indiana begins anew now.

Tom Crean knew he'd have to build at Indiana. He just didn't expect there to be so little lumber. After taking over, he dismissed forward Brandon McGee for academic negligence, Jordan Crawford defected to Xavier and he booted DeAndre Thomas, Jamarcus Ellis and Armon Bassett (the latter two had already been kicked off the team by interim coach Dan Dakich, but were appealing).

It got worse.
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Not a woodshop accident, nine world titles.

[Ed.'s Note: The Action Sports Report is a weekly blog that covers sports from skateboarding to snowboarding to FMX.]

A COUPLE MINUTES WITH SLATER:

Kelly Slater has locked up his ninth world title, but before heading back to Hawaii for the Eddie and the winter season, he's traveling around the country in support of his new book, an autobiography in pictures called For The Love. We caught up with him for a couple minute.
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Malcolm Gladwell has plenty to say about sports.

Malcolm Gladwell is a serious observer of sports. The author of iconic books Blink and The Tipping Point has no problems applying his theories to our realm. And though only one chapter in his new book, Outliers (Little Brown, $27.99), is committed entirely to the sporting discussion, he had a lot more to tell us. Such as how Bill Walsh could make us re-think Joe Montana, or how Tiger Woods is more practice than inspiration. He even touched on, yes, the brilliance of Charles Barkley.

Here, we chatted with the New Yorker writer about some of his interests, and ours.
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